It's a hard week. I'm exhausted. And stressed. And every law student I know is too. Honestly, this week is about as intense as finals, which is saying something. I have 2 major writing projects, a 100-page law review manuscript, a midterm, and the MPRE (the Multistate Professional Responsibility Exam--standardized test of legal ethics that everyone must take to get a law license) all in the next 5 days. Preparations for the moot court competition are going into high gear, as it's less than 3 weeks away. I'm not getting enough sleep, and lately when I do try to sleep, I've been either lying awake feeling stressed out, or having to-do list-induced nightmares (my least favorite of those? Dreaming that I completed some huge assignment or project--and then waking up to realize I actually haven't started it yet).
But here is some encouragement for today, for you and for me, from Isaiah 30:18. I love the way the Amplified Bible puts it:
"And therefore the Lord [earnestly] waits [expecting, looking, and longing] to be gracious to you; and therefore He lifts Himself up, that He may have mercy on you and show loving-kindness to you. For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed (happy, fortunate, to be envied) are all those who [earnestly] wait for Him, who expect and look and long for Him [for His victory, His favor, His love, His peace, His joy, and His matchless, unbroken companionship]!"
He waits and longs to be gracious to you, and you are blessed if you wait and long for Him. That's good news no matter how stressed out you are!
Tuesday, October 29, 2013
Sunday, October 27, 2013
Runner's High
Catherine and I have been on a major workout kick lately, and we don't plan on stopping it anytime soon. We've been going to the gym pretty much every single day for the past two weeks, no excuses, and working out a whole lot harder than I normally do--I've run more, done more pushups and lunges and ab exercises, and lifted more weights in the past two weeks than I have in such a long time. This girl, who's normally content to just do a Zumba class or jog some or shoot some hoops, is getting used to running a few miles basically every time I go to the gym. It's often the last thing I actually want to do after a long day of school work, but I know it's good for me.
And I feel great. I have so much energy (as in, I feel slightly caffeinated, without the coffee, pretty much all the time and am naturally more alert and focused) and I just feel strong and physically capable, which is a really good feeling to have. And there's nothing quite like the endorphin rush from a good run. Today I was actually quite satisfied to realize that I'm going to need to buy new running shoes because I've basically cracked the soles on my old ones. There's something really satisfying about realizing that you can lift 100 pounds, or run for one minute longer than you could last week.
And I don't believe I would have the energy to do all the work I need to be doing right now if I weren't exercising so much, so I'm telling myself, I think truthfully, that I don't have time not to work out. Today we went to the football field and ran up and down all the bleachers, and ran sprints, and did pushups and crunches, and came up with all these other random cardio exercises. I think this coming week, we're going to add some swimming and biking to the mix. We've already run the stairs in my apartment building once before, and I think we'll definitely do that again (yep, all 10 floors of it). Catherine's trying to stay in shape for her upcoming army physical fitness test, and I'm just trying to get in shape for, you know, life. I want to be able to haul heavy grocery bags and books around with no trouble, and be able to run up two flights of stairs when I'm late to class, and know that I could defend myself if I ever needed to. So anyway, I think this is going to become my new lifestyle. I will probably never be one of those women who jumps out of bed on the weekends and goes and runs 10 miles, but really big and profound lifestyle changes start with really small ones. So I'm starting now.
And I feel great. I have so much energy (as in, I feel slightly caffeinated, without the coffee, pretty much all the time and am naturally more alert and focused) and I just feel strong and physically capable, which is a really good feeling to have. And there's nothing quite like the endorphin rush from a good run. Today I was actually quite satisfied to realize that I'm going to need to buy new running shoes because I've basically cracked the soles on my old ones. There's something really satisfying about realizing that you can lift 100 pounds, or run for one minute longer than you could last week.
And I don't believe I would have the energy to do all the work I need to be doing right now if I weren't exercising so much, so I'm telling myself, I think truthfully, that I don't have time not to work out. Today we went to the football field and ran up and down all the bleachers, and ran sprints, and did pushups and crunches, and came up with all these other random cardio exercises. I think this coming week, we're going to add some swimming and biking to the mix. We've already run the stairs in my apartment building once before, and I think we'll definitely do that again (yep, all 10 floors of it). Catherine's trying to stay in shape for her upcoming army physical fitness test, and I'm just trying to get in shape for, you know, life. I want to be able to haul heavy grocery bags and books around with no trouble, and be able to run up two flights of stairs when I'm late to class, and know that I could defend myself if I ever needed to. So anyway, I think this is going to become my new lifestyle. I will probably never be one of those women who jumps out of bed on the weekends and goes and runs 10 miles, but really big and profound lifestyle changes start with really small ones. So I'm starting now.
Thursday, October 24, 2013
I Don't Want to Be in a Relationship.
I know that this puts me in a category with what seems like about 1% or less of people my age: Not only am I not in a relationship right now, but I have absolutely no desire to be in one. Not now, and not for a LONG time in the future.
I love being single. That's not sarcasm at all--I mean, I really love it. I love that I can make big plans for my future and be able to pursue what I feel led to pursue without being tied down by someone else's plans. I'm young, and I love that I don't have to fit my life into someone else's. I love that I can do what I want to do on Friday night, whether it's going out with friends or staying in and reading a book. I love being able to go where I want and do what I want without having to check in with anyone. I love that I can spend time with any friends that I want, male or female, without feeling guilty about it or worried that my significant other won't like my friends. And with no offense meant toward anyone, I guess I just don't want to spend every waking moment with one person right now. Most girls I know who are in relationships, for example, have dinner with their boyfriends EVERY SINGLE NIGHT. I just don't want to spend that much time with one person right now.
But my culture makes me feel very guilty about loving being single. I'm not supposed to love it. I'm supposed to hate it and be willing to do just about anything to be in a relationship. It is not assumed that single people have full, complete lives (but I would very much like to challenge that assumption). It is assumed that their lives are "unfinished," if you will, searching, and sometimes desperate. Just in terms of cultural norms, when people ask me if I'm dating someone, I'm not really allowed to say the truth: "No, I'm not dating anyone because I love being single." No, you're expected to give people very clear, logical reasons as to why exactly you aren't dating, and a clear timeline of when you expect to start dating in the future. Hence my classic excuse, aided by the fact that I went straight from college to law school: "I'm waiting until I finish school." And on top of making us single ladies feel like we can't possibly not be planning to date someone in the very clearly defined future, I know many people would dismiss every reason I just gave for loving singleness as being totally selfish. While I do understand how it could seem that way to some, at the heart of it, why is it selfish to pursue the lifestyle you want? Most of the single people I know still care deeply about others, are invested in their friendships, active in their communities, successful in their work, etc. They're giving and contributing and mentoring and investing and making a difference. They are not selfish simply because they're pursuing the life they want in terms of their relationships--just like it's not fair to tell people who are in relationships that they're selfish just because of that fact.
Just as people have the right to pursue a relationship if it makes them happy, they should also be able to not pursue a relationship if that's the lifestyle they want, without having other people wonder what's wrong with them and when they'll come around and realize that they need to Start Dating Right Now. And don't even get me started on the offensive articles out there about "why you're still single" that accuse single people of being weird, immature, unable to take care of themselves, and socially awkward. I mean, really? Moreover, I'm tired of the idea that single people aren't really "adults" yet, and I don't even know where this notion came from. It's not as if getting a boyfriend or girlfriend suddenly transforms you into an adult, or as if single people aren't paying their bills, working really hard, and taking care of themselves just like any other adults.
Don't get me wrong. I am delighted for my friends who are happily dating, engaged, and married (and a couple of my friends have really wonderful marriages and I think, someday, I probably will want a marriage like theirs). I am just as happy for my friends who, like me, are happily single. But here's a little secret: I'm not waiting to finish school before I start dating. That's an excuse because I know most people won't be ok with the real answer. I'm not dating because I don't want to be dating! (I'm laughing right now just imagining the responses I might get to that if I said that to people when I go home over Thanksgiving break!) I highly doubt that in 7 months when I graduate I'll suddenly want to start dating (or in a year, or a year and a half, etc., but that's neither here nor there). Of course I don't know what will happen in the future, but based on the fact that I've been very happily single for my entire adult life so far, I would definitely anticipate that I'll probably be perfectly happy working for a few years before I even want to think about dating. So what if I'm 27, or 30, or 32, and not in a relationship! If I'm happy and doing what I think God wants me to do, why does my personal relationship status even matter to anybody else?
I know that that's not acceptable to a lot of people. I know a lot of you all may be reading this and wondering who this weird girl is who just readily admitted that I've never even been in a real relationship and that's perfectly fine with me. But ultimately, we as a culture need to stop judging other people's choices to be, or not to be, in relationships, because it's offensive, and we need to just stop already. Anyway, that's my two cents. Thoughts?
I love being single. That's not sarcasm at all--I mean, I really love it. I love that I can make big plans for my future and be able to pursue what I feel led to pursue without being tied down by someone else's plans. I'm young, and I love that I don't have to fit my life into someone else's. I love that I can do what I want to do on Friday night, whether it's going out with friends or staying in and reading a book. I love being able to go where I want and do what I want without having to check in with anyone. I love that I can spend time with any friends that I want, male or female, without feeling guilty about it or worried that my significant other won't like my friends. And with no offense meant toward anyone, I guess I just don't want to spend every waking moment with one person right now. Most girls I know who are in relationships, for example, have dinner with their boyfriends EVERY SINGLE NIGHT. I just don't want to spend that much time with one person right now.
But my culture makes me feel very guilty about loving being single. I'm not supposed to love it. I'm supposed to hate it and be willing to do just about anything to be in a relationship. It is not assumed that single people have full, complete lives (but I would very much like to challenge that assumption). It is assumed that their lives are "unfinished," if you will, searching, and sometimes desperate. Just in terms of cultural norms, when people ask me if I'm dating someone, I'm not really allowed to say the truth: "No, I'm not dating anyone because I love being single." No, you're expected to give people very clear, logical reasons as to why exactly you aren't dating, and a clear timeline of when you expect to start dating in the future. Hence my classic excuse, aided by the fact that I went straight from college to law school: "I'm waiting until I finish school." And on top of making us single ladies feel like we can't possibly not be planning to date someone in the very clearly defined future, I know many people would dismiss every reason I just gave for loving singleness as being totally selfish. While I do understand how it could seem that way to some, at the heart of it, why is it selfish to pursue the lifestyle you want? Most of the single people I know still care deeply about others, are invested in their friendships, active in their communities, successful in their work, etc. They're giving and contributing and mentoring and investing and making a difference. They are not selfish simply because they're pursuing the life they want in terms of their relationships--just like it's not fair to tell people who are in relationships that they're selfish just because of that fact.
Just as people have the right to pursue a relationship if it makes them happy, they should also be able to not pursue a relationship if that's the lifestyle they want, without having other people wonder what's wrong with them and when they'll come around and realize that they need to Start Dating Right Now. And don't even get me started on the offensive articles out there about "why you're still single" that accuse single people of being weird, immature, unable to take care of themselves, and socially awkward. I mean, really? Moreover, I'm tired of the idea that single people aren't really "adults" yet, and I don't even know where this notion came from. It's not as if getting a boyfriend or girlfriend suddenly transforms you into an adult, or as if single people aren't paying their bills, working really hard, and taking care of themselves just like any other adults.
Don't get me wrong. I am delighted for my friends who are happily dating, engaged, and married (and a couple of my friends have really wonderful marriages and I think, someday, I probably will want a marriage like theirs). I am just as happy for my friends who, like me, are happily single. But here's a little secret: I'm not waiting to finish school before I start dating. That's an excuse because I know most people won't be ok with the real answer. I'm not dating because I don't want to be dating! (I'm laughing right now just imagining the responses I might get to that if I said that to people when I go home over Thanksgiving break!) I highly doubt that in 7 months when I graduate I'll suddenly want to start dating (or in a year, or a year and a half, etc., but that's neither here nor there). Of course I don't know what will happen in the future, but based on the fact that I've been very happily single for my entire adult life so far, I would definitely anticipate that I'll probably be perfectly happy working for a few years before I even want to think about dating. So what if I'm 27, or 30, or 32, and not in a relationship! If I'm happy and doing what I think God wants me to do, why does my personal relationship status even matter to anybody else?
I know that that's not acceptable to a lot of people. I know a lot of you all may be reading this and wondering who this weird girl is who just readily admitted that I've never even been in a real relationship and that's perfectly fine with me. But ultimately, we as a culture need to stop judging other people's choices to be, or not to be, in relationships, because it's offensive, and we need to just stop already. Anyway, that's my two cents. Thoughts?
Sunday, October 20, 2013
Purpose
This verse is highlighted, underlined, starred, and circled in my Bible: "The Lord will fulfill His purpose for me." (Psalm 138:8). When I strain toward my future, often with confusion and fear, or simply wishing I had more than one life so that I could do more things and have more jobs and pursue more dreams in my time here, it helps me tremendously to remember this bold promise for my life. It's amazing because it reminds me of two things: First of all, I have a purpose! My life has a purpose. It's not an accident or random or a product of chance that I am here right now, at this time in history, in this city, at this age, in law school, sitting on my couch typing out these words on a gloriously sunny Sunday morning. It's not just random, my life has a purpose. All of our lives have a purpose. Another verse that reminds me of this is Isaiah 42:6: "I have called you for a righteous purpose and I am holding you by your hand." Amazing.
And second, it's such a source of peace to know that not only do I have a purpose, but the LORD will fulfill it for me. I do not have to struggle and strain and wander through life confusedly trying to pursue a purpose and desperately trying not to miss the mark. The LORD will fulfill His purpose for me, and my job is to follow His leading and listen to His heart, not being anxious about anything, but claiming His purpose and His peace for my life. I am claiming that today and claiming these promises for my life in a time that could otherwise be burdened with great uncertainty. I don't have to stress about fulfilling God's purpose for my life because that is something that He has clearly promised to do--all I need to do is go where He leads me and be fully attentive to His voice. He knows the way that I take and has grace for me every step of the way.
And second, it's such a source of peace to know that not only do I have a purpose, but the LORD will fulfill it for me. I do not have to struggle and strain and wander through life confusedly trying to pursue a purpose and desperately trying not to miss the mark. The LORD will fulfill His purpose for me, and my job is to follow His leading and listen to His heart, not being anxious about anything, but claiming His purpose and His peace for my life. I am claiming that today and claiming these promises for my life in a time that could otherwise be burdened with great uncertainty. I don't have to stress about fulfilling God's purpose for my life because that is something that He has clearly promised to do--all I need to do is go where He leads me and be fully attentive to His voice. He knows the way that I take and has grace for me every step of the way.
Friday, October 4, 2013
October Friday :)
I LOVE Fridays in the fall. Well, fall in general. And as of October 1st, I *officially* gave myself permission to pull out the Christmas music . . . even though I had definitely already been listening to it since September. And even though it's still HOT here, usually the mornings have a hint of cool fall air and remind me that lots of football, cute scarves, boots, pumpkin-flavored everything, and anticipation for the holidays are coming my way in the next couple months.
Today, my last class got canceled (I kind of love it when professors just have to go out of town, even though they're always so apologetic), so I just need to get through my business class and then I'm done for the weekend. There's a big art festival downtown this weekend with free admission to a bunch of art museums, so my friend Juliana and I are going to get dinner and then check that out tonight. This week I've been pretty absorbed with editing a huge trial practice and procedure manuscript, outlining for my remedies class, and recruiting judges for the Moot Court competition (yeah, that's still going on. And there's so much more to think about: trophies, gifts for the judges, planning a banquet, getting a caterer and a bartender, getting a photographer for the awards ceremony, finding professors to grade the teams' briefs, and so on. My friend Maria who's also on the committee is fantastic at the whole event planning thing, so it's been great to have her involved).
As far as other random happenings in my life lately:
--I got to hear Matt Redman lead worship live at Passion City Church on Sunday and it was amazing. And I'm totally obsessed with his new CD and have been listening to it nonstop--it's called Your Grace Finds Me, and you should definitely check it out!
--Discovering that I had a free trial of Netflix instant streaming means I've been watching random documentaries and the Andy Griffith show alllll week long.
--Catherine and I signed up to do this closing argument competition that involves students from every law school in the state. Grand prize is $2,000. We're trying to win back most of the money we dropped on our bar prep courses. :) I spent $2,415 on mine, which definitely makes it the biggest ticket purchase of my life, but if I don't pay tuition for a course, chances are very good that I won't pass the bar.
--I've been speaking up more lately . . . about everything. Sharing my opinions with people instead of just acting like I don't have one because I don't think people will like it, being more vocal, participating more in class, etc. I'm not sure what prompted the change, but I like it.
--I've been on a brown rice kick lately. It's so good (and cheap). Last night for dinner I pretty much set up a brown rice buffet with various toppings to choose from: beans, corn, tuna, etc. This may be my go-to "poor law student" dinner.
--I really want to go to Bath and Body Works ASAP and buy some of their fall candles: they have harvest coffee candles, pumpkin pecan waffle candles, etc. That's what I'm talking about!
Well I have to run to class but have an amazing weekend!
Today, my last class got canceled (I kind of love it when professors just have to go out of town, even though they're always so apologetic), so I just need to get through my business class and then I'm done for the weekend. There's a big art festival downtown this weekend with free admission to a bunch of art museums, so my friend Juliana and I are going to get dinner and then check that out tonight. This week I've been pretty absorbed with editing a huge trial practice and procedure manuscript, outlining for my remedies class, and recruiting judges for the Moot Court competition (yeah, that's still going on. And there's so much more to think about: trophies, gifts for the judges, planning a banquet, getting a caterer and a bartender, getting a photographer for the awards ceremony, finding professors to grade the teams' briefs, and so on. My friend Maria who's also on the committee is fantastic at the whole event planning thing, so it's been great to have her involved).
As far as other random happenings in my life lately:
--I got to hear Matt Redman lead worship live at Passion City Church on Sunday and it was amazing. And I'm totally obsessed with his new CD and have been listening to it nonstop--it's called Your Grace Finds Me, and you should definitely check it out!
--Discovering that I had a free trial of Netflix instant streaming means I've been watching random documentaries and the Andy Griffith show alllll week long.
--Catherine and I signed up to do this closing argument competition that involves students from every law school in the state. Grand prize is $2,000. We're trying to win back most of the money we dropped on our bar prep courses. :) I spent $2,415 on mine, which definitely makes it the biggest ticket purchase of my life, but if I don't pay tuition for a course, chances are very good that I won't pass the bar.
--I've been speaking up more lately . . . about everything. Sharing my opinions with people instead of just acting like I don't have one because I don't think people will like it, being more vocal, participating more in class, etc. I'm not sure what prompted the change, but I like it.
--I've been on a brown rice kick lately. It's so good (and cheap). Last night for dinner I pretty much set up a brown rice buffet with various toppings to choose from: beans, corn, tuna, etc. This may be my go-to "poor law student" dinner.
--I really want to go to Bath and Body Works ASAP and buy some of their fall candles: they have harvest coffee candles, pumpkin pecan waffle candles, etc. That's what I'm talking about!
Well I have to run to class but have an amazing weekend!
Wednesday, October 2, 2013
Everyone Doesn't Have to Like You.
Just a quick thought for the day: Not everybody in the world needs to like you! Like many people, I am usually very focused on trying to get everyone around me to like me and respect me and want to be my friend, but I've been realizing lately that that's simply not necessary. And it may not even be a good thing.
It dawned on me yesterday that if absolutely everyone who knows you likes you, then maybe you aren't living your life boldly enough! Sometimes, to do the right thing, you need to shake things up, rock the boat, step on someone's toes, and do some things that people just aren't going to like. I don't mean that you do these things in an unkind or a rude way, or that you're trying to get on someone's bad side. But really, if you never do anything that some people won't like, there may be a lot of things you need to be doing but aren't because of a fear of rejection.
Yesterday I publicly stood up to a fellow student who has treated people badly for years, and called him out on his bad attitude and behavior. I'm pretty sure I lost at least some of his respect (if I ever had it to begin with). I'm pretty sure I made him mad. And because I never do things like that and would rather run from even the appearance of conflict, last night I had to fight an overwhelming urge to apologize and tell him I didn't mean it. But I did mean it, and I wasn't sorry for saying it. And I realized that I probably would have stood up to him a long time ago if I hadn't been so driven to have everybody like me and think I'm so nice.
Being nice is a good thing. Being liked is a good thing. But it's not everything. And if everyone likes you, it's possible that you're not standing up for anything when you should be. Just some food for thought.
It dawned on me yesterday that if absolutely everyone who knows you likes you, then maybe you aren't living your life boldly enough! Sometimes, to do the right thing, you need to shake things up, rock the boat, step on someone's toes, and do some things that people just aren't going to like. I don't mean that you do these things in an unkind or a rude way, or that you're trying to get on someone's bad side. But really, if you never do anything that some people won't like, there may be a lot of things you need to be doing but aren't because of a fear of rejection.
Yesterday I publicly stood up to a fellow student who has treated people badly for years, and called him out on his bad attitude and behavior. I'm pretty sure I lost at least some of his respect (if I ever had it to begin with). I'm pretty sure I made him mad. And because I never do things like that and would rather run from even the appearance of conflict, last night I had to fight an overwhelming urge to apologize and tell him I didn't mean it. But I did mean it, and I wasn't sorry for saying it. And I realized that I probably would have stood up to him a long time ago if I hadn't been so driven to have everybody like me and think I'm so nice.
Being nice is a good thing. Being liked is a good thing. But it's not everything. And if everyone likes you, it's possible that you're not standing up for anything when you should be. Just some food for thought.
Sunday, September 22, 2013
Read More Books.
I've always considered myself to be a reader, but over the past two years or so, I've realized that, besides textbooks and assignments for school, the most in-depth items I typically ever read are articles on Thought Catalog or Huffington Post or someone's blog, or, in the alternative, magazines. Often what I actually read is so light and devoid of real content that it's basically nothing but junk food for the mind. Our culture of instant access to any information via the Internet makes it very possible to get our brains to the point where we can only digest so much information at a time. And it has to be quick, easily digested, and instantly gratifying. And I realized that something rather tragic was happening: I didn't really know how to READ anymore. How to sit down with a hard copy of a book of any kind and get lost in it.
And there were so many things I was missing because of it: the joy of staying up half the night because you just have to read "one more chapter." The smell and feel and solidness of a book in your hands. The fun of getting lost in a story, or, in the case of non-fiction books, the fun of learning 100 things you didn't know before.
Here's the thing: smart people read real stuff. Period. If you want to truly consider yourself an intelligent person, you need to read. If you're not a reader, your brain is probably begging you to become one. There's a wealth of knowledge you choose to forgo if you don't read, and that in itself is very sad. Also, if you fancy yourself a writer but don't read, you have NO raw material to work with. The more I read, the more I can experiment with imitating and mixing the writing styles of different authors I like. And the wider variety of books you read, the more you can take in the practical wisdom of a whole lot of people who have had life experiences you haven't had and be able to learn from them.
This past week, I got mad at myself about the whole "I don't really read anymore" situation. Ever since I was a little girl, one of my favorite things to do was to sit down with a book and read to my heart's content, and I've all but lost the ability to focus long enough to do that. I believe that these are real structural changes that occur in the brain because of too much easy access to sound bites of information on the Internet--we lose the ability to focus on anything hard for a long period of time. And I'm determined to change all that. After I got done with class every day this past week, I read for about an hour before getting started on the rest of my work, and then some more before I went to bed. And it was SO satisfying, and was making me crave reading again. So I now have a whole stack of books from the public library to plow through over the next few weeks. And I'm getting more books put on hold for me to pick up later. The more you read, the more you want to read, and the more quickly you can undo the damage caused by months or years of not being a reader.
And I've decided to stop making my other classic excuse: I don't have time. Granted, some days I simply don't have time on that particular day for any non-school-related reading. But I can tell you that there's never a whole week that goes by in which I can't carve out some quality time for reading. You have time for more than you think. In the past three days, I've "had time" to do a ton of writing, to go to a music festival, to go out for dinner with a friend, to watch a lot of Netflix, to go to church, to take a long Sunday afternoon nap, and you get the idea. You do have time, you just have to find it. Or make it.
And it doesn't just have to be an actual book in your hands. Kindle works, if that's your thing. Audio books work. Whatever gets you absorbing material more substantive than Facebook and your favorite blog. Along those lines, I want to start listening to more substantive material too--like listening to sermons from my favorite pastors or TED talks when I go to the gym (pending my purchase of a real phone that has Internet access, something that, along with cable/ Instagram/ Twitter/ etc., I've never actually had).
So anyway, this is my plea to the average person: read more books!
And there were so many things I was missing because of it: the joy of staying up half the night because you just have to read "one more chapter." The smell and feel and solidness of a book in your hands. The fun of getting lost in a story, or, in the case of non-fiction books, the fun of learning 100 things you didn't know before.
Here's the thing: smart people read real stuff. Period. If you want to truly consider yourself an intelligent person, you need to read. If you're not a reader, your brain is probably begging you to become one. There's a wealth of knowledge you choose to forgo if you don't read, and that in itself is very sad. Also, if you fancy yourself a writer but don't read, you have NO raw material to work with. The more I read, the more I can experiment with imitating and mixing the writing styles of different authors I like. And the wider variety of books you read, the more you can take in the practical wisdom of a whole lot of people who have had life experiences you haven't had and be able to learn from them.
This past week, I got mad at myself about the whole "I don't really read anymore" situation. Ever since I was a little girl, one of my favorite things to do was to sit down with a book and read to my heart's content, and I've all but lost the ability to focus long enough to do that. I believe that these are real structural changes that occur in the brain because of too much easy access to sound bites of information on the Internet--we lose the ability to focus on anything hard for a long period of time. And I'm determined to change all that. After I got done with class every day this past week, I read for about an hour before getting started on the rest of my work, and then some more before I went to bed. And it was SO satisfying, and was making me crave reading again. So I now have a whole stack of books from the public library to plow through over the next few weeks. And I'm getting more books put on hold for me to pick up later. The more you read, the more you want to read, and the more quickly you can undo the damage caused by months or years of not being a reader.
And I've decided to stop making my other classic excuse: I don't have time. Granted, some days I simply don't have time on that particular day for any non-school-related reading. But I can tell you that there's never a whole week that goes by in which I can't carve out some quality time for reading. You have time for more than you think. In the past three days, I've "had time" to do a ton of writing, to go to a music festival, to go out for dinner with a friend, to watch a lot of Netflix, to go to church, to take a long Sunday afternoon nap, and you get the idea. You do have time, you just have to find it. Or make it.
And it doesn't just have to be an actual book in your hands. Kindle works, if that's your thing. Audio books work. Whatever gets you absorbing material more substantive than Facebook and your favorite blog. Along those lines, I want to start listening to more substantive material too--like listening to sermons from my favorite pastors or TED talks when I go to the gym (pending my purchase of a real phone that has Internet access, something that, along with cable/ Instagram/ Twitter/ etc., I've never actually had).
So anyway, this is my plea to the average person: read more books!
Friday, September 20, 2013
Reflections on Grace
Grace is the strong hand that reaches out to pull us out of the rising waves when in fear we start to sink.
Grace is the eyes that see us even when we feel invisible to the whole world.
Grace stares in the face of infinite loss and points to but one mighty refuge: the Cross.
Grace is the divine hand that pulls us back from the brink. Every time.
Grace causes the last bits of ice on the surface of our souls to chip off and melt away.
Grace sprints to us while we are still a long way off and gets the fattened calf ready for the party of the century--because a beloved child is coming home.
Grace calls the lame, the blind, the rejected, the poor, the lost, and the mourning to feast in the King's banquet hall, and His banner over them is love.
Grace extends a hand to the lost and the rejected and asks them to dance.
Grace turns to the criminal beside Him and offers him paradise at his last breath, bringing the unshakeable hope of heaven even to a place shrinking under the stench of hell.
Grace is the Father who has qualified us to share in the inheritance of the saints. Qualified us, even us.
Grace is the searing poverty of One who, through His sacrifice, makes even the least of these extravagantly rich.
Grace marks the murderer, the outcast, the broken, the drug addict, the prostitute, the rapist, the abuser, the weeping, the child slave, the victim, the bully, the terrorist, the forgotten, the unwanted, and declares over them all the same eternal and beautiful mantra: You. Are. MINE.
Grace utterly demolishes every lie we've ever been told about ourselves and claims that we're worth the life and breath and blood and tears of the One who makes the morning stars sing together.
Grace is rain in the desert, peace in the storm, life in the midst of our lifelessness.
Grace breaks into the camp of the enemy and steals back lost innocence, lost hope, lost dreams, lost souls.
Grace declares that our past cannot define us, our present cannot possibly be the end of our story, and our future is being written by a hand of love.
Grace strips off our dirty, ripped, filthy sin-rags and garments of despair and drapes a spotless robe of righteousness and a garment of praise over us.
Grace gently pries the cheap dime-store trinkets out of our fingers to replace them with a gift of immeasurable worth. To place His ring on our finger.
Grace pursues us and chases us down and can always outrun us, because it is relentless.
Grace is the crimson stain obliterating the record against us, nailed to his cross.
Grace picks up our ruin and gets the mess of our lives on His hands and picks through even the gutter, the garbage dump, the dark alley, the dirt, the prison, the crack house, the nightclub, the brothel, the homeless shelter, the sweatshop, to find us. Just to find us.
Grace runs after us every time we run away. Every time.
Grace feels our tears on His face and our smile on His lips.
Grace breaks down the walls, tears the bars away, and floods the forbidden and forgotten places with light.
Grace is the divine power that pours unchecked healing into the broken life of someone who but touches the hem of His garment.
Grace wraps a towel around His waist and washes the feet of sinners.
Grace whispers, grace shouts, grace shatters all our preconceived notions about ourselves.
Grace is the treasure of the ages in a cracked jar of clay.
Grace defies all the lies we've ever been told about who we are and just starts telling us whose we are--until we finally start to believe it.
Grace pierces even the deepest darkness and rips off the veil.
Grace is the name of Christ, whispered in the darkest valley. Shouted from the highest mountaintop. Sung from the church pew, prayed by a lonely child, cried out by a single mom, pled by the worst of sinners, breathed out from the heart of the faint and weak and weary. Jesus. JESUS. Never-ending grace.
Grace is the eyes that see us even when we feel invisible to the whole world.
Grace stares in the face of infinite loss and points to but one mighty refuge: the Cross.
Grace is the divine hand that pulls us back from the brink. Every time.
Grace causes the last bits of ice on the surface of our souls to chip off and melt away.
Grace sprints to us while we are still a long way off and gets the fattened calf ready for the party of the century--because a beloved child is coming home.
Grace calls the lame, the blind, the rejected, the poor, the lost, and the mourning to feast in the King's banquet hall, and His banner over them is love.
Grace extends a hand to the lost and the rejected and asks them to dance.
Grace turns to the criminal beside Him and offers him paradise at his last breath, bringing the unshakeable hope of heaven even to a place shrinking under the stench of hell.
Grace is the Father who has qualified us to share in the inheritance of the saints. Qualified us, even us.
Grace is the searing poverty of One who, through His sacrifice, makes even the least of these extravagantly rich.
Grace marks the murderer, the outcast, the broken, the drug addict, the prostitute, the rapist, the abuser, the weeping, the child slave, the victim, the bully, the terrorist, the forgotten, the unwanted, and declares over them all the same eternal and beautiful mantra: You. Are. MINE.
Grace utterly demolishes every lie we've ever been told about ourselves and claims that we're worth the life and breath and blood and tears of the One who makes the morning stars sing together.
Grace is rain in the desert, peace in the storm, life in the midst of our lifelessness.
Grace breaks into the camp of the enemy and steals back lost innocence, lost hope, lost dreams, lost souls.
Grace declares that our past cannot define us, our present cannot possibly be the end of our story, and our future is being written by a hand of love.
Grace strips off our dirty, ripped, filthy sin-rags and garments of despair and drapes a spotless robe of righteousness and a garment of praise over us.
Grace gently pries the cheap dime-store trinkets out of our fingers to replace them with a gift of immeasurable worth. To place His ring on our finger.
Grace pursues us and chases us down and can always outrun us, because it is relentless.
Grace is the crimson stain obliterating the record against us, nailed to his cross.
Grace picks up our ruin and gets the mess of our lives on His hands and picks through even the gutter, the garbage dump, the dark alley, the dirt, the prison, the crack house, the nightclub, the brothel, the homeless shelter, the sweatshop, to find us. Just to find us.
Grace runs after us every time we run away. Every time.
Grace feels our tears on His face and our smile on His lips.
Grace breaks down the walls, tears the bars away, and floods the forbidden and forgotten places with light.
Grace is the divine power that pours unchecked healing into the broken life of someone who but touches the hem of His garment.
Grace wraps a towel around His waist and washes the feet of sinners.
Grace whispers, grace shouts, grace shatters all our preconceived notions about ourselves.
Grace is the treasure of the ages in a cracked jar of clay.
Grace defies all the lies we've ever been told about who we are and just starts telling us whose we are--until we finally start to believe it.
Grace pierces even the deepest darkness and rips off the veil.
Grace is the name of Christ, whispered in the darkest valley. Shouted from the highest mountaintop. Sung from the church pew, prayed by a lonely child, cried out by a single mom, pled by the worst of sinners, breathed out from the heart of the faint and weak and weary. Jesus. JESUS. Never-ending grace.
Monday, September 16, 2013
Job Search Musing
I made myself a little "Job Search/ Career To-Do List" this weekend and therefore have "started" my post-grad job search . . . right? I also added about 75 people on LinkedIn, updated my resume, uploaded it to the "resume books" on the career services website, and made plans to join the local bar association and to renew my membership with the American Bar Association. I was talking to a friend lately about how important it is to get our networks to work for us . . . I can't devote as much time and energy to job searching as I want to and probably need to, but I want to milk my connections for all they're worth and put myself in a position where people readily think of me when they hear of particular job opportunities, and are willing to pass those opportunities my way. I'd like to get 250 connections on LinkedIn by October 15th, and I'd like to send my resume and a note of interest to at least 5 potential employers within the next week or so. Full disclosure, I think that LinkedIn has very little, if any, value for actually getting a job and is more a way to seem connected than to actually be so. But I also think that employers may assess how active and connected you are on LinkedIn to determine if you are the type of person who is active in your networks and has the ability to generate business connections for their company.
Several friends and I have talked about how we're ready to start work right now. I am just ready to go with this and ready to be where I've worked to get for years. Not that I'm not still enjoying school, because I definitely am, but I'm ready to be in the work world helping people and making a difference and putting my education to work.
I am planning to network like crazy at this Moot Court competition coming up in November, the one I'm planning with a student committee and the one I wrote the competition problem for (which, by the way, is DONE and posted on the website and it is such a huge relief to be finished!) We have to invite attorneys and judges from all over the city and different parts of the state to come judge competition rounds, and we will probably have 150 attorneys in all participating, and I plan to give out my business card and speak with every single one over the competition weekend. I am pretty determined to make some solid job contacts from that event, because I feel like it's definitely possible. In the meantime, one of my friends is my "job search accountability partner" and she's supposed to keep me on track to make sure I'm sending my resume to enough law firms, and going to job fairs, and things like that. So we'll see what happens. But I know I have to stay on track with this, because in this job market, if I don't make things happen, they're definitely not going to happen. I have got to put in the work and effort if I want to have any chance of seeing results. I'll keep you all posted!
Several friends and I have talked about how we're ready to start work right now. I am just ready to go with this and ready to be where I've worked to get for years. Not that I'm not still enjoying school, because I definitely am, but I'm ready to be in the work world helping people and making a difference and putting my education to work.
I am planning to network like crazy at this Moot Court competition coming up in November, the one I'm planning with a student committee and the one I wrote the competition problem for (which, by the way, is DONE and posted on the website and it is such a huge relief to be finished!) We have to invite attorneys and judges from all over the city and different parts of the state to come judge competition rounds, and we will probably have 150 attorneys in all participating, and I plan to give out my business card and speak with every single one over the competition weekend. I am pretty determined to make some solid job contacts from that event, because I feel like it's definitely possible. In the meantime, one of my friends is my "job search accountability partner" and she's supposed to keep me on track to make sure I'm sending my resume to enough law firms, and going to job fairs, and things like that. So we'll see what happens. But I know I have to stay on track with this, because in this job market, if I don't make things happen, they're definitely not going to happen. I have got to put in the work and effort if I want to have any chance of seeing results. I'll keep you all posted!
Tuesday, September 10, 2013
3L, So Far
And so I am back. I haven't had a chance to write for awhile, but this is a random Tuesday morning where my first class got canceled, so I'm going to take this opportunity to fill all my readers in on life the past few weeks.
I've fallen into a satisfying, albeit very busy, routine with classes, editing, recruiting teams for the Moot Court competition, writing, job searching, studying, and spending time with friends. I really enjoy all my classes (legal ethics, remedies, business associations, advanced legal research, and advanced legal writing group), and am loving being in my third year, knowing the ropes, and feeling confident about my niche here and what I want to do when I graduate.
My sister came to visit me this past weekend, and we had such a good time. We went on day trips to a couple different cities and spent some time at the beach, which I am always up for. It was really good to just have a chance to have fun and set aside some responsibilities for awhile. Here are some of my photos from the weekend:
I've fallen into a satisfying, albeit very busy, routine with classes, editing, recruiting teams for the Moot Court competition, writing, job searching, studying, and spending time with friends. I really enjoy all my classes (legal ethics, remedies, business associations, advanced legal research, and advanced legal writing group), and am loving being in my third year, knowing the ropes, and feeling confident about my niche here and what I want to do when I graduate.
My sister came to visit me this past weekend, and we had such a good time. We went on day trips to a couple different cities and spent some time at the beach, which I am always up for. It was really good to just have a chance to have fun and set aside some responsibilities for awhile. Here are some of my photos from the weekend:
rooftop bar at sunset
sweet potato and Vidalia onion ravioli with pecan cream sauce and balsamic
chicken with blueberry topping, collard greens, and sweet potato with vanilla pecan butter
LOTS of delicious food consumed this weekend . . .
another sunrise on the beach . . . I will never get tired of these!
stores & restaurants by the beach
cute coffee shop by the beach
On Sunday night, we came back to my apartment, watched a movie, and then went on a major, much-needed organizing spree in my apartment. We were able to go through and organize the STACKS of paper that had built up on my desk, my closet, my dresser, my jewelry, my clothes, and basically my entire bedroom. And, I recently redecorated my bathroom, and it looks really good, if I do say so myself. It's like a little oasis:
So that was my weekend . . . now it's back to the weekday routine of reading appellate briefs, class, studying, working with my manuscript teams on editing projects, and everything else.
Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love, that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days.
--Psalm 90:14
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