Wednesday, October 2, 2013

Everyone Doesn't Have to Like You.

Just a quick thought for the day: Not everybody in the world needs to like you! Like many people, I am usually very focused on trying to get everyone around me to like me and respect me and want to be my friend, but I've been realizing lately that that's simply not necessary. And it may not even be a good thing.

It dawned on me yesterday that if absolutely everyone who knows you likes you, then maybe you aren't living your life boldly enough! Sometimes, to do the right thing, you need to shake things up, rock the boat, step on someone's toes, and do some things that people just aren't going to like. I don't mean that you do these things in an unkind or a rude way, or that you're trying to get on someone's bad side. But really, if you never do anything that some people won't like, there may be a lot of things you need to be doing but aren't because of a fear of rejection.

Yesterday I publicly stood up to a fellow student who has treated people badly for years, and called him out on his bad attitude and behavior. I'm pretty sure I lost at least some of his respect (if I ever had it to begin with). I'm pretty sure I made him mad. And because I never do things like that and would rather run from even the appearance of conflict, last night I had to fight an overwhelming urge to apologize and tell him I didn't mean it. But I did mean it, and I wasn't sorry for saying it. And I realized that I probably would have stood up to him a long time ago if I hadn't been so driven to have everybody like me and think I'm so nice.

Being nice is a good thing. Being liked is a good thing. But it's not everything. And if everyone likes you, it's possible that you're not standing up for anything when you should be. Just some food for thought.

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