Sometimes I don't think we even realize how truly amazing God is, and how much He loves us, and what beautiful things He has planned for our lives. If we were able to fully realize it, I believe we would be living with tremendous joy on a day-to-day basis, knowing that whatever comes around the bend next is truly God's best for us. There is nothing that comes to us that hasn't been filtered through His loving hands first. And we should be getting very excited, because He has plans for us to prosper us and not to harm us, to give us hope and a future.
Y'all. I want God's best for my life. I refuse to settle for anything less than that. Wanting what's simply good is settling. Even wanting my best is settling. Why would I want anything less than God's best for my life, to live in the center of his plan and pursue exactly what He wants for my life? This is what I want for my life. I want to be a woman who goes where God leads and obeys and is willing to get out of the boat and walk on the water in faith.
As some of you know, as a student in my last year of law school, I am beginning to search for a permanent post-graduation job in earnest--my first real "big-girl job," if you will, at least in the sense that it's for the long haul, and not just a summer or part-time position. And this process is admittedly scary and stressful. It's easy to get overwhelmed by it and to not even know where to begin, and to be tempted to switch into panic mode when yet another friend secures a job and you feel like everyone has a job lined up but you (which is exactly how I feel right now even though I know that's not true and the people who already have jobs are actually in the minority, but just happen to comprise about 90% of my friend group).
I have prayed long and hard about my future career and where I need to be job-wise, and I need to just keep praying until genuine trust fills in all those spaces in my heart where anxiety tends to reside. Trust that I serve an incredible Redeemer who knows--and will DO--what is best for my life. Trust that my Savior has my name engraved on the palms of his hands and has had a plan for my life long before I was even born. I need to dedicate this time of job-searching and considering what my life will look like next year entirely to the Lord. You know how life somehow never works out quite the way we plan it in our heads? (And looking back on my life, even three years ago I could never have guessed that I would be where I am now and doing what I'm doing now). As soon as I think I know what I'm doing, God finds ways to surprise and delight me with things I couldn't have even thought of myself. That's why even though I know what I want to do and where I want to do it--I want to do family law litigation in a small firm (15-20 attorneys, or fewer) in a particular city--I want to be open to all the possibilities, all the permutations that the Lord may have in mind for what I do after I get my diploma and (hopefully) pass the bar exam. I want to be willing to go anywhere and do anything according to God's best plan for me. And somehow I sense that no matter what I have all planned out, God has something a whole lot better in mind.
I really can't possibly know what amazing things God has in store for my life, plans to give me great hope and a joyful future, and I really can't wait to see what He has planned. It amazes me all the time that He loves us so much that He's willing--and eager--to guide each step of our lives into the wonderful things He has prepared for us.
My friend texted me today: "Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart. How amazing is that?!" Yes, it is pretty amazing! We should be living our lives with an ongoing sense of holy anticipation, knowing that the Lord is in the business of continually surprising us with His grace.