So I've spent the past few days writing about the "biggest relationship myths" which are typically found in Christian circles, writings, and teachings. Most of these myths start out well-intentioned but get very messed up over time. And I'll be honest: I had no intention of writing about this topic this week, and even though I wrote these posts at a feverish pace, pouring out my heart on these issues, it was kind of hard to write about them. Hard because I don't want to offend anyone, and it's possible that I did. Hard because sparking controversy is not my favorite activity, and my words may have done just that. Hard because sometimes a myth is more attractive than truth. And especially hard because I myself have believed some of these myths, even some for years. If you don't agree with me on some or all of these things, that's absolutely ok, and I'm more than willing to be a part of a dialogue on these issues. Like I said before, I'm not an expert on these topics, I'm just seeking out the truth and God's best for my life. I know I'm not always going to get it right, but I'm going to write as God leads me to write. And I will readily acknowledge that these beliefs I find damaging, that I've called "myths," probably all began from very well-intentioned people and teachings, but became distorted and blown out of proportion with time.
That said, have you been able to detect the common thread running through a lot of these myths? It's the idea that we have to get relationships completely right the first time, and that failed relationships and hearts that have broken over love for another person will haunt us forever and are beyond repair and out of reach of redemption. That they are unable to be turned into something beautiful. Basically, it's the idea that complete redemption doesn't extend to the area of relationships. And I'm not even going to euphemize that with the word "myth": this is completely and totally a lie.
A redemption that can't reach such a central area of our lives is no redemption at all. It's one that we've used our rules and our formulas to strip of its power. And that is a tragedy.
But I believe that God can redeem anything and forge something truly beautiful out of the nastiest, most tear-stained messes of our lives. In His kingdom, no experience we can have is worthless or beyond repair. He can redeem broken hearts. He can redeem lifelong singleness. He can redeem failed relationships, misplaced affections, shattered relational boundaries, and the grief that comes from missing what you had with a person so deeply that you don't know how to move forward. I don't know how you have been broken in this area, but I know that you have been. We all have. But nothing is exempt from redemption through Jesus Christ. Nothing. And that news is truly good. If Christ's death could restore our broken relationship with God Himself by tearing down the walls that separated us from Him, then surely His death and resurrection can redeem the brokenness that stems from our human relationships too. His love can still tear down dividing walls and rebuild broken spirits.
And so we should lay it all down before Him.