I officially have senioritis right now and zero motivation to do any school stuff, or just generally be responsible. The weather has been freezing cold and rainy all week long, and it makes me want to do nothing but curl up on the couch, read novels, and watch movies. All I've really been focused on for several weeks now is job search stuff, networking, applying, and interviewing, and I'm just so ready for it to be over and to know where I will be living and working in August. Applying and interviewing for jobs is a lot like going on one first date after another after another, and constantly putting your best foot forward with people you've never met, who could massively affect your future, is totally exhausting after awhile. I think constantly grappling with the unknown is really what's so draining. I certainly believe that it will work out and God is leading me the entire way, but I still don't like not yet having any life plan after July 30th when I finish the bar, because I am a huge planner and I like to know. Carrying around that weight of the unknown gets very heavy after awhile, and I can't tell you how relieved I will be when it's all said and done, hopefully sooner rather than later. But along with that, on the brighter side, I'm constantly thinking and daydreaming about what I could be doing and where I might live and what kind of new place I might want to get and just in general what it will be like to finally be a real lawyer. (The picture I always have in my head is living in a huge city, running around my high-rise office building in heels and a power suit, going to court on a regular basis, going out for margaritas after work for happy hour, taking evening Japanese classes--or something like that--at a local university to keep my mind sharp, volunteering, hosting classy dinner parties and backyard barbecues, and going to art museums and little coffee shops and music festivals and thrift stores and brunch with the girlfriends on the weekends). I am SO excited to start my new life and embrace real working adulthood and start pursuing some new adventures, and I can't wait to keep you all posted on what all happens as I move forward. But that said, I am having such a hard time staying on track and focusing on classes and law review responsibilities when I have graduation and exciting new opportunities right around the corner, and even just in the next few weeks, like my trip to Oklahoma in two weeks to compete in the national client counseling competition with my teammate and best friend, and my friends' wedding next weekend, and spring break, and my best friend from college coming to visit me in April, which is going to be so fun.
But alas, even this blog post is just me procrastinating about writing my family law seminar paper, so it's back to work for me . . .