Friday, April 25, 2014

The People You Meet in Law School

Yesterday, I just finished my LAST LAW SCHOOL CLASS EVER. And I could not be happier about it! These last two weeks have just dragged on and on and ON and been so busy and crammed with huge assignments, receptions, banquets, and senior events that I haven’t had time to breathe. And now, it’s 10:00 on a Friday morning and I am sitting in my pajamas writing this blog post, and I don’t feel guilty about it either. Sure, there’s stuff I could be working on (such as studying for my torts II final exam) but I need a break first.

So I decided to write a fun post this morning about the people you will definitely meet in law school. Based on my experience, I’m pretty confident that every law school class has at least one person fitting these descriptions. (And last night’s senior superlative night got me thinking about these. What did I win? Most likely to become a legal writing professor. Fair enough, because that’s probably true!) So without further ado, here’s the list:

1) The person who KNOWS EVERYONE and IS FRIENDS WITH EVERYONE. You can’t go anywhere with them without them running into TONS of people that they know and want to talk to. If you go out for dinner with them, you’ll end up having dinner with half the town. And if they don’t know anyone, they’ll just strike up friendships with strangers. They also have to make sure that their social life always one-ups everyone else’s and that no one has friends that they are not also friends with. And you’ll think that you FINALLY know your own group of people that they don’t know, and they’ll start making up ways that they know them too. “Oh, Stacy? Isn’t she the one that’s dating [insert name of annoying dude who graduated last year]?” Like, no! I’m pretty sure you do not actually know who Stacy is!

2) The person who takes photos of any car in the student parking lot which they judge to be improperly parked, uploads the photos into their computer, and sends them out in emails—with disparaging comments about the cars’ drivers—to the ENTIRE student body. Way to abuse email privileges, Mr./ Ms. Parking Police.  

3) The girls who skip class ALL the time, for any reason, and when they do show up, are adorned with their perfectly manicured nails and never fail to have a pumpkin spice latte/ iced coffee on hand.

4) The guy who wastes class time with ridiculous and farfetched hypotheticals—“Well what if you push the guy off the hotel balcony, but before he hits the ground and meets his certain death, he is shot mid-air and killed by a sniper? Who is responsible for killing him?”

5) The enigma—the person who is never on campus and is pretty much never seen, and occasionally you hear stories of someone having had a class with him/ her, but ultimately you’re pretty sure they don’t even go to your school. And all you really hear about them is that they’re taking off for Colorado or California or New York or some other distant locale immediately after graduation. The enigma is probably writing the next John Grisham novel in their spare time and is going to be famous long before anyone else will.  

6) The people who take their student organization waaaay too seriously and email the student body constantly about their club’s events and sell their club T-shirts constantly and don’t really do anything else but that one group or organization.

7) The guy who never takes class—or anything else—seriously, never reads, is never prepared, and gets everywhere on humor and good looks.

8) The person who studies ALL the time, gets 99’s in pretty much every class only because our school doesn’t give 100’s, and is going to get an A+ on the bar exam even though it’s pass/ fail.

9) The person who does NOT know when they've had enough to drink and who makes a fool of him/herself as a result . . . regularly. At first it’s kind of funny, but after awhile you wish for their sake that they’d get it together and start being more responsible. Because in the real world, “But I’m soooo hungover” is NOT an excuse.

10) The super-athletic girl who’s always wearing head-to-toe Lululemon and drinking protein shakes and going on the paleo diet and joining weightlifting competitions and running like 50 miles a week.

11) The person who blows up your Facebook news feed with one political post after another after another, as if reading the link they post is actually going to change your mind about your political views.

12) The person who’s the rare combination of both an atheist AND a proselytizer…their life goal is to convince everyone why religion is stupid and the bane of human existence and why God doesn’t exist and why you shouldn’t believe. Don’t you have anything better to do with your time?

13) The superhero people who juggle law school, families, their own businesses, or other major pursuits besides just school and still manage to do well with all of it. Do they ever get to sleep? We wonder.

14) The people who never really moved on from being in undergrad. You’ll know what I mean if you ever go to law school. 

15) The person who has dated not only everyone at the law school, but everyone in town between the ages of 22 and 30. And apparently, because it ended badly with pretty much ALL their exes, there's a loooong list of people they can't talk to or be in the same room as. Unsurprisingly, this person is usually the same person as #9.

16) The girl who is impossibly together. She gets great grades and runs for miles every morning and always looks like she stepped off the cover of Vogue and always has time to socialize. How does she do it? 

Well, that's all I've got for now (although there are many more). Happy Friday!

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